


The Jester's Magic

by TikiHasIssues



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ecto-Genitalia (Undertale), F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I REGRET NOTHING, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Joke Fic, Short One Shot, You are going to regret this, hahahaha, its 2 in the morning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TikiHasIssues/pseuds/TikiHasIssues
Summary: I knew y'all would regret this. Hahaha, hahahaha.





	

For some reason, you had always had your eye on that short, punny skeleton. Ever since you were hired at the new café run by the fire monster Grillby, you saw and wanted him: Sans the Skeleton. Sure, Sans had no skin, smelt oddly of ketchup wherever he went, seemed to joke only to hide his inner pain and torment, and also wore the same thing every single day, but none of that made you any less attracted. You couldn't explain it. You just wanted to fuck him until he dusted.

And that's exactly what you were gonna do.

Your flirtation started off slow; he came to Grillby’s café every day, so it was easy enough for you to see him. You would serve him, get a little nicer each time, let the button on your shirt be open just a bit lower or brush against him just a bit. After a while you would ask about his day and so on. Before you knew it, you had both gone on a few dates and one night, he asked you to come into his house...and you said yes.

You were both kissing passionately as you backed into his room, Sans kicking the door shut. He pushed you on top of his bed as he slipped off his jacket and threw it onto the floor. He ran his phalanges over your soft stomach, under your dress as he lifted it above your head, leaving soft nibbles along your neck before pulling it off. He sat up and smiled to admire you. “Shit baby, you look absolutely stunning.” You giggle a bit and sit up to meet his teeth, kissing them softly.  
He presses his teeth against your lips before standing off of the bed, pulling off his shorts. You part your kiss and look down, biting your lip. You didn't think you would get this far. How would it look? What would it feel like? What surprises did he have in store?

As the shorts came off, all you saw was a bare pelvis, but slowly, the area began to glow a pale blue, gelatinous magic forming in the area. You watched in anticipation, ready for Sans’s glorious cock to take shape-

“Oh babe, wanna see a trick?”

San's voice breaks the silence and suddenly the magic takes the shape of a cat’s head, nestled in the pelvis. You stare blankly, not yet registering what is going on. “W...what?” “Heh. It’s a cat dick, get it?” 

You stare up at his amused face, then down at his pelvic cat, who then meows. You jump in horror.”JESUS TAP-DANCING CHRIST THAT IS MORTIFYING!” You scream out. Sans extends his arms to try and comfort you. “Wait wait, it's alright. If you don't like cat dick, maybe you'll enjoy…” 

He wiggled his hips for a moment and the magic changed shape, transforming from a cat's head to that of a dachshund. “...a wiener dog!” He chuckled and patted the ‘dog’s’ head lightly. “Why don't you pet him? He does love cuddles.”

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into? You just wanted to bang your boyfriend not...whatever this is. At this point, it was hopeless. Sans continued to make the magic in his pelvis take on more shapes; an ice cream cone, a large pacifier, even a stick with a hula hoop around it. Meanwhile, you slipped your dress back on, grabbed your purse and went home.

You never called Sans back after that.

**Author's Note:**

> I knew y'all would regret this. Hahaha, hahahaha.


End file.
